Birthday Advice
by Bruce Lansky
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Today on your birthday I think you should know-- you're getting too old now to suck on your toe. And when you get hungry I hope you won't spread the jam that you find 'tween your toes on your bread. Do not shine your shoes with the wax from your ear. Don't shampoo your hair with your dad's favorite beer. Do not chase your nose when it's running--that's dumb. When you go to church, do not dress like a bum. It's time you grew up and stopped acting so bad. It's time that you stopped acting just like your dad. |
